Here's an excerpt from an AP article on the drunk driving arrest of Cincinnati basketball coach Bob Huggins. I'm including it here because I think there is something funny in each paragraph.

He had slurred speech, red and watery eyes, and there was vomit on the driver's door when his car was stopped for drifting out of its lane late Tuesday, the police report said. When officers pulled Huggins' car over, he said, "Don't do this to me," but was cooperative, according to the report by Sgt. Jeff Bronson.

Officers said Huggins told them he had a "couple" of beers. He denied he was under the influence of alcohol.

Officers said Huggins "staggered" out of the car and couldn't keep his balance during the sobriety test.

Asked to recite the alphabet from the letter "E" through "P," Huggins said, "E, F, G, H, I, K, L, N, Z," according to the police report. Asked to count backward from 67 to 54, he counted from 62 to 52, the report said.

Officers tried to give a breath analyzer test, but Huggins couldn't complete it, the report said. He was arrested and brought to the police station, where his wife picked him up, police said.

During Huggins' 15 seasons at Cincinnati, numerous players have been arrested or cited for offenses ranging from domestic violence to punching a police horse. Several were later acquitted or had the charges dropped.